i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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