I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
