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Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
