the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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