come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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