Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
