We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
