I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize