Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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