K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
