I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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