i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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