Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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