Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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