Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
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she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You dont lie about slip and slides
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Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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