if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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