Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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