Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
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She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
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Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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