Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
