i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
