Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
