There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
