Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize