bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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