He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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