you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
