so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
