I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
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i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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