just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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