I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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