Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
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All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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