I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
