He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
