watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
