Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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