Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No subtext here. People are naked.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
