Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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