They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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