it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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