About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
