this just has baby written all over it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
