I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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