summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
farters have to be the big spoon...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
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Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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