Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
