I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
