I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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