is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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