They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
