At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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