My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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