Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
