yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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