Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
