This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dick very happy bro
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
