Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
