see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize