i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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