What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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