dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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