He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
