his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
