Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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