You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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