I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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